Lent

Fasting.
Dying to self.
Refocus on God.
Becoming more of who God desires me to be.
Glorifying Him.

Some of these phrases confused me for a long time in Christian lingo, but I'm realizing that in context and understanding these different components, I have a much clearer picture of what Lent is about. Dying to the old self and accepting the new. Two days into Lent and not having eaten meat in 2 days; which is kind of surprising for me, I eat some kind of meat on a pretty regular basis--especially chicken, I love me some chicken. I don't crave meat on a regular basis, but I also love me a good hamburger every now and then...veggie burgers do it for a little while, but I don't think they cut it for a lifetime, or do they?? That is what I'm trying to discover in this process of Lent, or at least a part of it, what does it mean to understand that being able to purchase meat in the grocery store is a total luxury? We don't have to go out an kill anything, fatten up a cow, chase a chicken around only to kill it, roast a pig (a Courtney family tradition, thank you Uncle Tim and the number of years I've been exposed to such an experience).

It's like I've discovered a whole new world of vegetables and meals that are meatless that are just as delicious and because of the richness of color, just looking at them make me feel...healthier. But again, it's not even about that, I want to understand how people survived, functioned, and were active 1000 years ago-and yes I understand they killed animals for meat, but I'd like to discover what it's like to eat foods that are of the ground or grown on trees. I'm so thankful for this opportunity to try this, God, to know you more, and rely on you, instead what I have in my refrigerator and pantry.

Praises.

your hands

It seems like every time I get in the car, this song is on...and I don't really see it as a sign since it is quickly climbing the Christian music billboard, but I listen to it and get chill bumps. The story, the truth and the sound makes me heart ache in such a beautiful way. I just want to say thank you JJ for writing this song.

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands